I wrote giving up on "software engineering" nearly a year ago.
In January, I will start medical school on the other side of the world.
It was scary to commit to quitting. I felt weak for not being able to power through. Quite frankly I was weak — I certainly wasn't making decisions from a place of power. But I don't regret my decisions at all. The proliferation of AI in software development (and adjacent industries) continues to advance. The work has become mostly unrecognizable and the discourse is exhausting. At this point its touch is inescapable, but I hope the stability of medicine will provide some insulation from the hype.
I'm happy with how things have worked out. I hope the despair of the last couple years has helped me grow in some way, and I hope it will be the worst I'll ever have to experience. I must remember this struggle and maintain humility.
I received offers from three universities in Australia, including the top-ranked in the country. Unfortunately it is prohibitively expensive and I'll be going to a smaller school instead. Even with this concession, I am in absolute awe of how fortunate I am. I am certain my greatest privilege is a family that loves me and prioritizes my well-being even over their own. I worry I won't be able to repay them.
Outside of this arc, life has remained consistent. I remain curious. Scared of the future. An ambitious dreamer but lackadaisical creator. I hope to revive this site, overhaul my main, and pursue more creativity. Read, write, code, learn to draw and make music, organize my life, get fit, improve my diet. There's much to do, and not much time before I start what might be the busiest period of my life.
I'd also like to find a part-time job for the little time I have before leaving, but that hasn't been working out so well.
I don't want this to site to be all about my life, but I thought my absence merited comment, and that maybe this little story could spark some hope.
----------------------------------------------------------------